Ok I am really trying

I am really trying to keep my ugly past behind me (Christmas 1999) but it seems like every time something very small happens at this time of year I loose it... Yesterday was a terrible. It started with Treys truck starter($80 our cost crazy) going out at the donut store which made him miss detention from last week when he was late and got into trouble. Thanks to my dad being here, it did get fixed, I could not have made it happen with out him, what a blessing he is here. Kyle gouged out a chunk of skin trying to help with Treys car. Then I was cooking dinner a new recipe which we were all looking forward to and if fell off the counter and broke the 9X13 deep dish baker it was in.. I lost it crying and wanted to go sit in my room with the door locked until Jan. 1st... I really try to not think about the past but when things go bad my mind is so mean to me with the thought of 1999.. I know that was a blessing in the end but the feelings are still there every year and the fear. I pray them away. My stomach is doing flip flops. I know that we are not given anything we cannot handle so I will find the blessing in all this. Dad was here to help with Treys truck huge blessing... David brought home dinner blessing... Kyle did not need to go to the ER(well he could use a butterfly band aid) Trey cleaned up the mess in all over the floor and did all the dished. I am blessed :)